Grief Relief for Christian Women | Widow, Support, Connection, Loss of Spouse, Joy, Grief and Trauma

Ep. 8 - Mother's Day and Missing My Momma

Podcast Episode: “Mother’s Day, and Missing My Mama”
Hey ya'll, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women. I’m Patty, and today…We are talking about Mother's Day and missing my momma. Mother’s Day holds a whole lot of beauty and a whole lot of ache at the same time.
And this year marks two years since my sweet mama went home to be with Jesus.
Let me pray for you.
“Father, for every woman listening who is missing her mom this Mother’s Day, would You wrap her in Your gentle comfort? Remind her she is not alone. Remind her that grief is a sign of great love. Hold her heart the way only You can. Restore her strength. Give her peace. And let her feel her mama’s love lingering in every treasured memory. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
If Mother’s Day feels tender for you — if it feels complicated, or lonely, or even a little unfair — sister, pull up a chair. You’re in the right place.
Mother’s Day can be beautiful. But Mother’s Day can also be brutal.
Social media turns into a giant Hallmark commercial. Restaurants fill up with families in coordinated outfits. Florists get a workout. Churches hand out roses.
And for those of us whose mamas aren’t here anymore… it can feel like the whole world is celebrating something we’ve lost.
Two years ago, on May 13th, my world changed. My mama stepped into eternity, and even though I know exactly where she is — healed, whole, and with Jesus — I still miss her voice, her laugh, her hugs!
Grief doesn’t erase love.And love doesn’t erase grief.
When I think about my mom, the first things that come to mind are her love for Jesus and her strength. That woman could’ve moved mountains with just a prayer...and she did move a lot of mountains in her lifetime here on earth. She loved everyone, prayed hard, and taught me what resilience looks like when life tries to bring you down. I don't know how I would have gotten through the grief I experienced after Ralph died, without my momma's faith and encouragement.
I know many of you have experienced the same thing. Losing your mama feels like becoming a different version of yourself overnight — a version you didn’t ask to be. I remember someone telling me once that she felt like an orphan after her mom had passed away. That is what I felt like the day my mom died. My mom was the strongest connection I had to Jesus and myself. My mom's last Mother's Day was May 12th, 2024. She was very sick, but she was alert enough to know that all of her family was there celebrating her for Mother's Day. My dad gave her a beautiful bouquet of flowers as he always did, and sat by her bed and whispered to her (and I can still see this picture vividly in my head), he told her that he loves her and will miss her for the rest of his life, but that it was OK if she needed to go home to meet Jesus. He told her he would see her when he gets to Heaven.  We didn't know it then, but it was only 2 short months later that my dad went home to see her and Jesus. They are together forever. 
But here’s what I’ve learned in these two years:My mom may not be here physically, but her legacy still shows up in me every single day.In the way I show compassion.In the way I pray.In the way I mother my own adult son.In the way I serve you, women walking this same hard road.
Grief doesn’t just take — it gives. It gives perspective. It gives depth. It gives a new kind of wisdom that only comes from loss.
And I like to think my mama would be proud of how I’ve used my pain to help others heal.
This Mother's Day, I spent the entire day with my son, Ryan. We went to a Mineral Spa that is about an hour away from where we live, so we talked all the way there, and talked and talked more while at the spa. We talked about my mom (his momo) and how we both miss her so much. I had the best time with him and am so grateful that he wants to spend all day on Mother's Day with his mom! I love being his mom, and I am blessed to have Ryan!  I love that I have so many memories of my mom, and I am blessed that she is my momma!
Here are a few things that have helped me, whether it be on Mother's day or really any day of your life.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
There is no right way to grieve on Mother’s Day or any other day. Cry if you need to. Laugh if you can. Stay home. Go out. Buy flowers. Don’t buy flowers. There’s no gold star for doing this “right" so do what feels right to you in that moment. Because we know that moment's feeling changes quickly. 
2. Remember Her — Your Way
You don’t have to make a big production. Maybe it’s:
Cooking her favorite foodWearing her jewelryLighting a candleLooking through old photoswearing a T-Shirt of hersSitting quietly and thanking God for her life...There's no right or wrong here---just choose to try something this year and be gentle with yourself. Grief is love and can exist side by side
3. Let Yourself Be Loved
This one might be hard for some.  Let people check on you. Let someone bring you coffee. Let someone pray for you. Let someone hug you! Every Mother's Day, my brother-in-law texts me to tell me Happy Mother's Day. I love this tradition they have, and I love them. 
Remember, you are not a burden — you are a blessing.
4. Invite God Into the Day
When you feel that "I miss my momma" ache, whisper this:“Lord, be near to me in the spaces she used to fill.”
God meets us in the empty places.
On this Mother's Day, my heart is tender. I miss my mom. I wish she could hear this podcast. I wish she could see who I’m becoming. I wish I could buy her one more Mother's Day card, and I wish I could hug her neck!
But here’s some comfort thoughts:
Love doesn’t end.Connection doesn’t end.Heaven isn’t far!And one day, every separation will be healed.
Until then, we honor their lives by living ours with courage, faith, humor, and the kind of stubborn hope only Jesus can give.
Thank you for spending this Mother's Day episode with me. If today’s episode helped you, share it with someone who might need it. You never know whose heart you’ll help.
With love,Patty

Ep 7 - Reimagine After Loss

Have you ever had one of those quiet moments…Not a dramatic, crying-on-the-floor moment…Just a quiet afternoon, in the middle of doing absolutely nothing, And this little thought floats through your mind…"what's ahead for me?"Not said out loud. Not even fully formed.Just… there.Like a question you're almost afraid to ask because you're not sure you're ready for the answer.Well — if that's ever been you…You are exactly where you need to be today.Because that quiet question? It's not hopelessness.That's the beginning of reimagining.
💛 INTROHi y'all, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women.I'm Patty — and if you're new here, welcome. I am so glad you found this little podcast. Pull up a chair. Grab your coffee. Or your tea. And you don't even have to take notes because you can come back and listen as often as you need!Today we are talking about the third R in our grief framework:Reimagine.And before we go one step further, I want to say something I need you to hear before your brain starts doing that thing where it talks you out of everything good:Reimagining does not mean forgetting.It does not mean you've moved on.It does not mean you love him less.It does not mean your grief wasn't real or deep or valid. (I read once that the deeper your love was- the harder the grief is.)Reimagining means you are slowly, gently, sometimes reluctantly… allowing yourself to believe that there is still more ahead.That God is not done with your story.That the last chapter has not been written.And that is not a betrayal of who you lost — it is an act of faith.Let's pray before we dive in.
🙏 PRAYERFather, thank You for every woman listening right now.You know exactly where she is.Lord, give us vision again today.Not all at once — Just enough.Just enough light to see that our lives still hold purpose.Just enough hope to believe that You are not finished with us.Help every woman here trust that the story you started in her is still being written — and that the pages ahead are filled with more than she can currently imagine.We trust You with what we cannot yet see.In Jesus' name — Amen.
🧠 MAIN TEACHINGOkay, let's talk about reimagining — because I want to be real with you about how this actually happened for me.It did not look like some beautiful sunrise moment where I stood on a hilltop and felt the wind in my hair and suddenly knew my purpose. (That is not grief. That is a movie trailer.)Reimagining, for me, was small.Very small.It was tiny little thoughts that I almost dismissed because they felt so strange, but hopeful at the same time.Not one or the other, but both.Because that's exactly what reimagining is in the early stages. It's not a clean, confident, kind of hope. It's a quiet, "I'm not sure I believe this yet, but I'm not shutting the door" kind of hope.And hey, that is enough. That is more than enough.
Let me tell you how my very first “reimagining my future” went. Remember back in Episode 6 when I told you I discovered I didn’t actually want the barn house and land Ralph and I bought together… so I sold it? Well, the next step in that journey was trying to reimagine where I wanted to live next. I was still working at the time, and I loved my job, so I needed to stay in the area, but where and in what? Rent or buy? House or condo?  I couldn't make up my mind, nor was I in the mood to figure it out. Oh, btw, the ability to make any decisions at all, let alone life-changing decisions, at this point in my grief, was gone. I couldn't make a decision for my life!
But here’s the thing: by the time the house closed and the new owners moved in, I had absolutely zero idea what came next.
So I sat down with my son — Ryan — and shared this wild little idea I had:
“What if I used the money from selling the house to buy a run-down place… and flip it?”
Now, Ryan had to be involved because he has a degree in architecture, works with contractors every day, and has basically been in the building industry since birth — his dad was a licensed plumber, so that boy grew up with blueprints in one hand and tools in the other.
I imagined we’d find a cute little fixer-upper that just needed some cosmetic updates… paint, floors, maybe a new kitchen faucet — you know, EASY stuff. We’d flip it, make a little money, and move on.
Well… I didn’t imagine big enough. But God did. He already knew the plan.
Ryan ended up becoming the general contractor for our first flip. And let me just say — the house we bought wasn’t just “run-down.” It was unlivable. He had to level the foundation — and if you know anything about remodeling, you KNOW you pray there are no foundation issues. Well… this house missed that memo.
Then he tore it down to the studs, added on another 1,200 square feet, and between the permit delays, scheduling issues, and then COVID hitting… what should’ve taken six months turned into a year and a half and WAY over budget.
Finally — FINALLY — it was finished. And we put that baby on the market in the middle of the wildest real estate market Austin, Texas had ever seen. It sold in two days… for 3 times more than what we bought it for.
Can you imagine?! I couldn’t. But God? He is so good y'all!!
Webster defines “reimagine” as forming a new, creative, or different conception of something — thinking about something in a fresh way to improve or adapt it for a new season.
And that’s exactly what happened in that one conversation with my son. I reimagined everything — my finances, my living situation, my relationship with Ryan, even my relationship with my parents… because I ended up moving in with them for four months until I found my house.God used one moment of reimagining to rewrite an entire chapter of my life. 
✨ When Hope Feels UncomfortableLet me tell you something that nobody warned me about.Hope can feel weird.Like, uncomfortable, weird.You start imagining something — like a trip, a new adventure, a new purpose — and then almost immediately your brain hits the brakes and says, "Wait. Should I be feeling this? And sometimes it even feels a little… wrong.Like, hoping for something good is somehow disrespectful to your grief. Or to him.I want to speak directly to that feeling right now:Hope is not betrayal.Listen to that again if you need to.Hope. Is not. Betrayal.Hoping for a future does not erase your past. It does not minimize your love or your loss. It does not mean you're done grieving or that you're somehow doing grief wrong.Hope is what healing looks like when it starts to take shape.Grief and hope are not opposites. They are not in competition. They can — and do — exist in the same heart at the same time.You are allowed to cry and dream.You are allowed to miss him deeply and wonder what's next.You are allowed to hold his memory close and open your heart to receive what God has ahead.Both. At the same time.
💛 You Carry Love ForwardI think it is the biggest misconception about moving forward after loss:Moving forward does not mean leaving him behind.It means carrying his love with you — into what's next.His love shaped you. His presence changed you. The life you built together, the laughter you shared, the inside jokes, the sound of his voice — all of that is woven into who you are now.You do not leave that behind when you step into the future.You bring it.You carry it forward.And I believe with my whole heart: you are leaning into the woman you are becoming — the one being shaped by both the love you received and the grief you've walked through — you are extraordinary.The woman who understands depth and loss and resilience and grace in a way that most people never will.That is not nothing. That is a gift — even when it doesn't feel like one.
🌱 What Reimagining Actually Looks LikeHere's what reimagining can look like in real life:Trying something new. A class you've been curious about. A restaurant you've never been to. A podcast (hi) you wouldn't have listened to before. Saying yes again. To the invitation you almost declined. To the friend who keeps checking on you. To the opportunity that made you think "maybe" before you talked yourself out of it. Yes is a small act of courage.Make plans. This one was big for me. There's something about putting something on the calendar — a trip, a girls' night out, a class, anything — that says to your nervous system: there is a future, and I intend to be in it. Plans are hope made practical.
Stepping into purpose. This might be the biggest one. At some point, you start asking: What has this season grown in me? What do I now carry that someone else desperately needs? Your grief story is not the end. It might be the very thing God uses to reach someone else who is right where you were.And here's the key thing about all of this: You don't have to do this all at once.Not in one big leap.Just small openings. One at a time.Think of it like cracking a window. You don't have to fling the whole thing open. Just… crack it. Let a little air in. See how it feels.
🛠️ YOUR ONE GENTLE STEPAlright, I'm not going to say goodbye without giving you something to do with all of this info I just laid on you.This week, I want you to do one thing:Notice one moment of possibility.Just one.It might be a thought.It might be an idea.It might be a "hm, I've always wondered what it would be like to…"It might be as simple as "maybe."When that moment shows up — and it will — instead of shutting it down… instead of saying "oh I couldn't" or "that's silly" or "I don't know if I'm ready"…Just sit with it. Think about it for a moment.before you commit to anything. Don't make any big decisions. Don't even tell anyone if you're not ready to.Just… breathe.Because that is how hope begins.Not with a grand gesture.Not with a five-year plan.With a quiet maybe that you choose not to dismiss.
💛 OUTROIf you could relate to this episode today — I'm so happy.  That's what this space is for.
Before you go, can I ask a favor of you? If this encouraged you, share it. Text it to a friend. Post it in a Facebook group. message someone you know who has been quietly wondering if there's anything ahead for her.Because there is.There is so much ahead for her.There is so much ahead for you.Until next time — be gentle with your heart.You are not weak.  You are not broken. You are not lost.You are a woman in the middle of a story that God is still writing.And from where I'm standing?The best chapters are still to come. JUST THINK WHAT YOUR LIFE COULD BE AND WILL BE if you REIMAGINE💛

Ep 6 - Rediscover Yourself After Loss

Second R: REDISCOVER
🎙️ EPISODE: REDISCOVERRediscover: Finding What Matters to You Now
This is the season where you don't rush, but you reintroduce yourself to the woman God is shaping you into. Think of it like meeting yourself again...but this time, with more wisdom, more grace, and way less tolerance for nonsense.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking…
“I’m still me… but life doesn’t feel the same?”
Like something has shifted…Not just around you…but inside you?
This is where rediscovery begins.
💛 INTRO
Hi y’all, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women.I’m Patty, and today we’re talking about the second R of my 3 R's:
Rediscover.
This one might surprise you, 
Because rediscovery isn’t always about finding yourself--or rediscovering yourself.
Sometimes… It’s about reconnecting with what matters now.
Let’s pray.
🙏 PRAYER
“Lord, help her see herself clearly.
Not through grief alone… but through Your eyes.
Show her what still matters… and what she can gently release.
Guide her as she rediscovers life in this new season.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
🧠 MAIN TEACHING
Now listen--this is important:
You didn’t lose yourself. You lost someone you love.
But life around you has changed. THAT'S THE MOMENT YOU REALIZE YOU’RE NOT THE SAME!
And when life changes… priorities shift.
I remember thinking…
“What do I want this next season of my life to look like?”
Not because I didn’t know who I was…
But because what mattered to me started to feel different.
I slowed down.
I let go of things that didn’t feel important anymore.
And I leaned into things that brought peace… and meaning.  I discovered how important my family and my friends are to me. They have always been important, but let's be honest, life gets in the way, and I needed to reconnect with a lot of these people. These are people that I've known all my life, and when I needed them, sometimes, just to sit and let me cry, they were there and still are. The ones that can't handle that, well, they probably weren't that important to you in the first place. This grief journey is a way of cleaning out the closets and drawers of unimportant stuff--or things that no longer fit and that is the same with people in your life. Rediscover and Declutter! :)
I started reading the Bible more--I was searching for answers from God, but I was also trying to discover what was next.
That’s when I started asking:
“What does this season look like for me?”
Rediscovery isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about alignment.
What matters now?What feels right now?What do I want to carry forward… and what can I let go of?
Speaking of letting go of...well, you might also discover things that you don't like in this process. Like me! I discovered I didn't want our house any longer. Ralph and I bought our house on 6.2 acres out in the country. This was in 2003, before we got married, but we did get married in that backyard less than a year later. This was our dream home. It looked like a barn (a barndominium), some called it, and not perfect for just any family, but it was perfect for us.  It had only one large open room upstairs, which was our bedroom, a guest bed, an office, and a bathroom with 2 very small closets. God built this house for us, and I think that's why it hadn't sold until we found it! We had chickens, goats, pigeons, and horses, not all at the same time, but at different times for the 15 years that we lived there. Of course, we had our dogs and cats, which had been laid to rest on that land, and oh so many memories in that house! I thought I couldn't bear ever to get rid of it--but I also thought I couldn't bear to live there without Ralph. That was our dream, not just mine alone.6 acres is a lot to take care of, and the 2 of us did keep up with all the maintenance pretty well for years, even though it was a lot. But for just one person, that person being me--it wasn't easy, and it wasn't getting done. So one day, about a year after he was gone, I decided to sell it. I finally had a contractor come out and had the things repaired that needed to be repaired, and remodeled where we always planned to, but never did, and put it up for sale. It took about 6 months, but it sold, and I could not have been more excited. Yes, it was sad too, but I knew I couldn't keep it up on my own, and I have plenty of pictures to remember it when we both lived there. So, I DISCOVERED that I didn't really want a house and a lot of land in the country--not without him anyway. 
💬 Change happens after you lose your husband! Whether you like it or not, or are ready for it or not, it's all part of the journey. I will say that some changes are easier than others, and some turn out better than others.
Even if life feels unfamiliar…
You are still you--just a different you--walking through a different season.
When Ralph died, I remember thinking:“OK, what do I do now! I was a married woman yesterday, but today I am single--a widow! 
And that’s honest. Loss doesn’t just take the person you love… it takes the version of you that lived that life with them.
WHAT REDISCOVERY LOOKED LIKE FOR ME
Let me share what I actually did — the practical, real-life steps God led me through.
I let myself fall apart… on purpose.I stopped pretending. I sat with God and said, “Lord, if You don’t hold me together, nothing will.”I had to rediscover what I wanted (as a single person), Not “Ralph’s wife.” and NOT with Ralph, and Not “the widow.” Just me — The daughter God loves way too much to leave broken.I reminded myself daily-- You’re still here. You matter. God is not done.I permitted myself to laugh again--or at least not feel guilty when I did.I rebuilt my rhythms...My mornings, evenings, meals — everything had to be rediscovered. BTW, did anyone else stop cooking after your husband died? I did because I didn't feel there was joy in cooking for myself or for just one. I cooked all of the time when Ralph was there because I loved to see his reaction to what I cooked. It was mostly good reactions, but he was brutally honest, in his witty way, and would let me know if it wasn't good.I took inventory of what survived. My humor, my faith, my strength, my ability to love.I rediscovered my voice by helping others.When I encouraged someone else, God whispered, “See? You helped someone (just by being me) through my own grief experience.”I honored my past because I would not be me without it.I let God reintroduce me to myself.“Lord, show me who I am now.”And He did — beautifully.I started dreaming again.Tiny sparks that turned into this podcast.
Rediscovering yourself is not replacing what you had.
It’s uncovering the woman God already saw… the one who could walk through fire and still shine.
So here’s your reminder today:
💛 You are not lost.💛 You are still here, and you matter💛 And God is faithfully guiding every step.
This week, ask yourself one question:
“What feels important to me right now?”
Write it down.
Don’t overthink it.
Just notice what comes up.
That’s where rediscovery begins.
You can revisit old interests: Loss sometimes makes us forget what we used to love.- What hobbies did you abandon? Something you stopped doing since your loss or even years ago when the 2 of you got together.- What made you smile before life got heavy?
Try something completely new: A pottery class? Painting? Dancing? New experiences spark new versions of you.
Create Your Own Boundaries list:- What drains me?- What fills me?- What no longer works for me?
Start a "What I Want Now" list: This is powerful, and it can be added to along your journey as you discover more about you:- What do I want spiritually?- What do I want emotionally?- What do I want in community, work, lifestyle?
Explore Your Strengths. Loss stretches you in ways you never asked for...but look at the strengths you've gained: - Patience- Resilience- Wisdom- Compassion
Refresh your environment: A small change says, "A new season is beginning."- Rearrange furniture- Sell your house :)- Plant a new garden with bright, cheery flowers
Go visit a friend who makes you belly-laugh!Book a tripTake a nap without guiltGo to bed as late as you wantSleep as late as you wantEat what you want
Girl, sometimes rediscovery feels like resurrection!
💛 OUTRO
If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who may be trying to figure out what matters now, too.
Next time… we’re talking about Reimagine—and how to begin seeing a future again.
Until then…
Be gentle with your heart.
You are not lost.
You are rediscovering.
OUTRO
If you want to go deeper, I made you a Rediscover Yourself After Loss Worksheet.gentle journaling, reflection, and prayer to help you lean into who God is shaping you to be in this season.
You can download it from the Show notes.
And as always — I love you, I’m praying for you, and God’s not done with your story.
Download here: REDISCOVER YOURSELF AFTER LOSS

Ep 5 - Rebuilding After Loss: What it Actually Looks Like

What does life look like after everything has changed?
In this episode, Patty Jackson introduces the first of the 3 R’s—Rebuild—and gently explores what it means to keep living in a world that feels quieter, different, and unfamiliar after loss.
Through real-life stories and honest reflection, Patty shares how rebuilding isn’t about starting over—it’s about learning how to live in the life that remains, one small step at a time, with God walking beside you in every moment.
Download: Rebuilding After Loss — What It Actually Looks Like

Ep 4 - The 3 R's: Rebuild - Rediscover - Reimagine after Loss

🎙️ Episode 4: The 3 R’s of Grief — Rebuild, Rediscover, Reimagine
Grief Relief for Christian Women
In today’s episode, Patty shares a deeply personal and faith-centered approach to navigating grief through what she calls The 3 R’s: Rebuild, Rediscover, and Reimagine.
Grief doesn’t always look like losing your identity. Sometimes, it’s learning how to move forward in a life that feels unfamiliar… quieter… and different.
If you’ve ever wondered, “How do I move forward without him here?” — this episode will meet you right where you are.
💛 What You’ll Hear in This Episode
Why grief isn’t always about “losing yourself”
The unexpected emotional weight of everyday moments after loss
The hidden reason behind avoiding things you once loved
How grief shifts your perspective, priorities, and rhythms
A gentle, faith-filled path forward through the 3 R’s

Ep 3 - How You Can Actually Help a Widow

Episode Title:What Widows Really Need (But People Don’t Always Know)
Description:
When someone loses their spouse, friends and family often want to help… but they don’t always know how.
In this episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women, Patty shares practical and heartfelt ways people can truly support a widow during the grief journey.
If you are a widow, this episode may help you feel seen and understood. And if you have someone in your life who is grieving the loss of a spouse, this conversation can help you learn how to walk beside them with compassion and care.
In this episode you'll learn:
• Why simply showing up matters more than perfect words• How long-term support makes a huge difference• Specific ways to help that truly lighten the burden• Why listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give• How faith, prayer, and patience can bring comfort during grief
Grief can feel lonely, but no widow should have to walk through it alone.
💛 Before you go… one small favor from me to you
Come hang out with me at in our Facebook group for more encouragement and support with women that Get It:  https://www.facebook.com/share/g/186WA2iEF2/
If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or made you feel a little less alone, would you take a quick moment to leave a 5-star review? It helps other women who are hurting find this podcast when they need it most.
And if someone popped into your mind while you were listening—please share this episode with her. It might be exactly what her heart needs today.
Thank you for being here. It truly means more than you know. 💛

Ep 02 - Faith In The Fog

When grief feels overwhelming and God feels distant, what do you do? In this episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women, I talk honestly about what it’s like when your faith feels foggy after the loss of your spouse. If you’ve struggled to pray, questioned where God is, or felt guilty for not being “strong enough,” you are not alone. This episode offers gentle encouragement, biblical hope, and reassurance that even in the thickest Faith fog in grief, God is still close to the brokenhearted.
💛 Before you go… one small favor from me to you
Come hang out with me at in our Facebook group for more encouragement and support with women that Get It:  https://www.facebook.com/share/g/186WA2iEF2/
If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or made you feel a little less alone, would you take a quick moment to leave a 5-star review? It helps other women who are hurting find this podcast when they need it most.
And if someone popped into your mind while you were listening—please share this episode with her. It might be exactly what her heart needs today.
Thank you for being here. It truly means more than you know. 💛

Ep 01 - Why I started This Podcast

Hi y’all! Welcome to the very first episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women. I’m Patty Jackson, and I am so glad you are here. Even if you are here wearing your PJs, drinking your lukewarm cup of coffee, and thinking, “Well, I’ve got nothing better to do, so let’s see what this lady has to say,”! 
Today, I’m telling you why I started this podcast, and I’m sharing my story. I hope by the end, you’ll feel a little less alone and a whole lot more understood.
I'm going to quote this very common scripture before I begin, as I need the help to get through this episode. It is Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength." Amen!
So, let’s go!
I didn’t grow up thinking, “One day, I’m going to be a widow helping other widows through grief.” No one dreams of that. Heck, I was thinking of a future full of vacations, grandbabies, retirement, and maybe finally learning how to play golf—with my best friend and husband, of course.
Well, it has a way of handing us things we never dreamed of.
My husband, Ralph, died just 13 months after he retired, at 68 years old, and I was 58. We were together for 24 years and married almost 14 of those. The year was 2018, and it started out busy. I had a funeral out of town to attend, which I combined with a family reunion in the same area, so I was gone for over a week. 
Upon returning, both of my parents got sick with pneumonia, so I kissed Ralph goodbye, and I left my home again to help my sister take care of them. My dad ended up in the hospital, and my sister was there with him while I stayed with Mom at their house. I talked to Ralph on Saturday night several times, and I told him I would be back home the next day.
Both parents got worse, so I called my husband several times on Sunday to let him know I wasn't coming home after all, but he never answered the phone—even stranger, he never called me. Finally, on Monday at noon, my sister was able to relieve me and stay with Mom while I went home to get a change of clothes and check on Ralph, since I hadn't heard from him for over 24 hours.
That’s when I found him on the back porch, face down. I wasn’t sure if he was alive or dead or how long he had been lying there, so I touched him and felt that he was cold, but otherwise he looked like he could be sleeping. I had never found a dead body before, so I wasn’t sure what to do or how to determine if a person needed medical attention or not.
I think I called my sister first and told her I thought Ralph was dead, and she asked if I had called 911. I said, I don't know if he needs help because I think he's already dead. She said, Well, I think you still need to call 911, so I did! I called my son, Ryan, and he and my brother-in-law showed up about the same time. The EMTs showed up within a few minutes, but almost immediately, they called the coroner. Still not knowing what was going on and never having been through something like this, I asked if he was still alive. I thought since they weren’t talking to me, maybe they were working on him to take him to the hospital or something, because it seemed like forever while waiting. Then finally they responded No, he is gone and has been for more than 24 hours. That is when my life changed in an instant.
The EMTs were with Ralph on the back porch and made us wait in the front, as I remember trying to see him, but they said I couldn’t. I just kept saying, “But I have to tell him goodbye.” They were trying to keep me from seeing him, and I’m sure they meant well, but I wanted to kiss his lips and say goodbye. I remember my son finally stepping in and telling them, "If my mom wants to say goodbye to her husband, then by golly, she will--and they finally let me. I layed next to his cold, lifeless body and told him how much I loved him, then kissed his blue lips, and they took him away--forever!  I didn't know how he died, and I didn't know that the EMTs don't really know either. I had to wait a month for the autopsy and the medical examiner to send me a report that showed that he had died of a massive heart attack and had broken his neck when he hit the concrete. I was happy to know that he didn't suffer because he had to lie there for the next 24 hours, ALONE!
The next days were a blur, but my son took care of everything for me that related to Ralph’s death. I was grateful because I could barely get out of bed, let alone think about funerals, wills, autopsies, or death certificates. Yes, it is true—within the first week, all of these things need to be addressed, even though you can barely think and take care of yourself.
I stayed in a numb, mindless state for about three weeks.  The brain fog was real! I had not heard about "brain fog," so I absolutely thought I was losing my mind. I had always been the person in our marriage who took care of the finances and paid the bills, but during this time, I couldn't remember that I had always done it, and in some instances, I totally forgot what to do. Something as simple as paying a bill and taking out the trash was too difficult on any given day. Around the fourth week, I needed to get back to work at my full-time job because I was worried about getting fired for being gone too long.  In my company, we got 3 days for bereavement, and I had been out for 3 weeks. Praise the Lord for my work family, and they were kind enough to say I could take as long as I needed! So I tried going back to work in the fifth week, but I couldn’t get more than a few hours in before I would break down in tears. It was so difficult to get back to living a normal life. My emotions were all over the place. One day I would be crying all day, the next day I’d be totally fine, and the next I’d be mad at everything. Grief is such an emotional carnival ride that you can’t get off of.
I remember thinking that I hate death! I've never handled it well. The first funeral I ever went to was when I was 18 years old, and I had a car wreck on my way home from the funeral. Only 4 months later, the 2nd person that I knew who died was my best friend. She was in my wedding just 2 months before that, and we had only graduated from high school 6 months earlier, when she was in a car wreck and died. I took that one so hard that I didn't stop crying for 2 weeks and didn't go to my job for a month. I thought her death would kill me. I just made up my mind that losing someone close to you is supposed to take me out, too! After Ralph died, I knew I needed to get help with learning how to grieve so that I could continue to function as a living human being while still missing this person. This is when my search to be educated and supported in grief began. First, I went to my church, only to find out that they didn’t have any grief counselors or grief groups. I thought, How strange. I remembered something called Marriage Encounter when I was a Catholic, so of course, I thought there would be Grief Encounter groups somewhere. However, I couldn't find any Grief Encounter groups. That wasn't a thing.
There was a grief group at the church across the street, so I signed up for it. That was weird—going to one church for services, and another for grief counseling. Eventually, I stopped going to my home church because the support just wasn’t there. I went through the grief group two more times over the next year, and it was such a huge help for me. Not only did they teach me what grief is, but let me know that there is no "normal" grief. More than anything, I needed someone who got it. Who'd been through it already! Someone who could sit next to me in the middle of the mess and say, "Honey, you're not losing your mind, you're grieving. and there's a way forward!
I finally got it, and even though in those early years, I hated hearing people say, "Time will heal" and "You will get over it", I finally understood and felt like I was over it. I was going to work every day, living a "normal" life, and I could go weeks without crying! The grief didn't kill me! I now know that Time doesn't heal, but I gave myself time to learn and feel the pain while living with our memories and the life we had together. I understand that I will never get over it, but I know how to get through it!
I have to say that I was doing a great job at living life again. I had sold our home but hadn't bought a new place yet when COVID hit. Both of my parents got COVID, and I moved in to help care for them.  I lived with them for about 4 months before I bought my house close by so that I could be available to them if they needed help. Fast forward a few years, and they ended up in an Independent Living facility where their health continued to deteriorate. Between my siblings and me, one of us was with them every day, or as often as possible. I was still working full-time, but I was the only one who wasn't married out of the five of us, so I stayed with them most often, and one day I had a thought, that's why Ralph had died and left me alone--so that I would be available to take care of mom and dad. For some reason, I felt better having a reason why Ralph died!
Fast forward a couple of years, my sweet mom passed away on May 13, and my dad passed away on July 13, 2024, just 2 short months apart! Well, let me tell you, everything I had learned about grief and how to navigate the rollercoaster of it went out the window. When mom and dad died, it took my legs out from under me. I didn't function like the person that I thought had a handle on Grief and knew everything about it. I was completely lost and inconsolable, back to the day I found Ralph dead on the back porch. I basically had to start from the beginning again! I call it REGRIEFING! 
The Turning Point:
There came a moment--I remember this so clearly--when I asked God, "Okay Lord, what do I do with all of this?"
The Lonelinessthe confusionthe aching emptinessthe weird mix of heartbreak and hopethe sense that part of me was gone, but another part was waking up.
I heard in my heart a whisper, "Use it," "Use it for good for others going through the same thing you are."
That whisper led me to start leaning into other widows
listeningsupportingencouraginglearning what hurtslearning what helpslearning that grief isn't a moment--it's a journey
The whisper eventually became MyGriefRelief.com, where I wrote daily love letters to Ralph on a blog. It helped me get my emotions out. I think writing your feelings down is therapeutic, but I've never been good at journaling, and writing these letters to him made it personal. Now I have these letters to read and see how far I've come from those early days of Grief. Then came my Facebook group, then Grief Relief for Christian Women, then my coaching, and now, this podcast.
I started this podcast because My Purpose is my Power.
I created this podcast because grief can be isolating—even if you’re surrounded by friends and family.
I created this podcast because widowhood is a club no one wants to join, but once you’re in it, you need your people—people who speak your language, who understand your meltdowns, and who cheer when you manage to put your big-girl pants on.
I created this podcast because your identity matters.Your joy matters.Your future matters.And your story matters— and your story is still unfolding.
In Grief Relief for Christian Women, we aren’t fragile—most of the time.We’re not broken.We’re not “used up” or “half of a whole.”We’re women walking through fire with God right beside us, learning how to love life again.
Let me be clear, Your grief is not a sign of weakness.Your tears aren't a lack of faith.Your healing isn't on a deadline.You're not wrong for wanting Joy again.You are human.You are loved.and you are allowed to rebuild, rediscover, and reimagine the life ahead of you.
If my story does anything, I hope it permits you to have your own story--your own timing, your own voice, your own journey, and the peace you deserve.
I want this podcast to feel like your weekly reminder that healing is possible—and you don’t have to do it alone.
This podcast is going to be a mix of things—kind of like grief itself, except hopefully way more fun:
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster
Practical, faith-centered tools that actually help
Stories from women who get it
Encouragement, honesty, humor, and hope
If you are looking for a group of women who have been there and aren’t afraid to give you a hug and a nudge…
If you want to feel seen, supported, educated, and occasionally entertained—well, y’all found the right show.
One last thing before I wrap up:Thank you, honestly, for pressing play and hanging out with me today.starting this podcast was a leap of faith. sharing my story out loud? whew--let's just say that I had to hype myself up with a lot of prayer and maybe a few pep talks in the mirror and hitting record countless times.
💛 Before you go… one small favor from me to you
Come hang out with me at in our Facebook group for more encouragement and support with women that Get It:  https://www.facebook.com/share/g/186WA2iEF2/
If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or made you feel a little less alone, would you take a quick moment to leave a 5-star review? It helps other women who are hurting find this podcast when they need it most.
And if someone popped into your mind while you were listening—please share this episode with her. It might be exactly what her heart needs today.
Thank you for being here. It truly means more than you know. 💛

Grief Relief for Christian Women Podcast Trailer

Grief Relief for Christian Women is a podcast for widows who believe that God still has joy, purpose, and laughter waiting for them — even after loss. In each episode, Certified Christian Grief and Trauma Coach, Patty Jackson, offers real, faith-based tools and techniques to help you move forward when grief feels like it consumes your day, every day!
If you’ve tried therapy or grief groups and still feel stuck… or if you’re tired of the emotional rollercoaster and just want some honest, faith-based encouragement — grab your coffee and come hang out with me. Each week, we’ll talk about real-life ways to find peace, rebuild confidence, and rediscover the woman God created you to be — joyful, strong, and full of purpose again.
You may not believe it yet, but I promise — you can love your life again!
email me anytime: patty@mygriefrelief.com